Crawling Back by Allison Wall
You thought maybe, this time, you could do it. You keep trying. You try over and over, but like all those other times, you look at yourself—really look—and you have to acknowledge it. Gaunt, lank hair, circles like bruises around your eyes, lips chapped, skin mottled and pale, fingernails splintering. You are dying. You have to go back. You are too tired and sick to be angry. But a part of you—a not-small part—is relieved. This burden you’ve placed on yourself, the weight of this goal, you can put down. You can’t survive alone. You know better. Of course you do. But these moments of clarity only come when it is almost too late. So you climb into your car and drive, with shaky hands, shaky legs, struggling to focus your eyes. Thankfully it isn’t hard to get there. The route is pressed deep in your muscle memory. Grooves in your body. The car practically drives itself. You blink. Before you know it, you’re there. The tires splash through the gutter where, as a kid in the rain...